


Alive

by tenmillionotters



Category: Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice (Video Game)
Genre: Jealousy, M/M, Obsession, One-Sided Attraction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-04
Updated: 2020-01-04
Packaged: 2021-02-22 16:01:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22118512
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tenmillionotters/pseuds/tenmillionotters
Summary: Even if it was just for a brief moment, he wanted Genichiro to feel the same longing, the same pain he felt when his mind began to wander. What a disgrace he had become when Lord Kuro’s safety was all he should think about, but now that he finally his own freedom he could never see himself let go of it.
Relationships: Genichiro Ashina/Sekiro | Wolf
Comments: 2
Kudos: 23





	Alive

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kamikaze43v3r](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kamikaze43v3r/gifts).



Slowly, it slowly crept upon him. This unfamiliar feeling, the feeling he didn’t dare to name. All his life other people had told him how to feel, what to think. Preferably, he shouldn’t do either. But now it felt as though all the emotions they dictated him to suppress, ignore and snuff out from the start wrapped around him softly and warmly. 

That was how it felt in the beginning. Infatuation was such an odd feeling, it felt like the first bite of food when you’ve been craving it for so long but immediately afterwards you felt hollow again. They had met before, even though he didn’t think much of the encounters. Back then, he wasn’t meant to feel anything in regards to the other man. He just watched him, observed his actions. 

Not once, Genichiro had made an effort to meet his gaze, instead, he was focused on his servants. There was admiration in his eyes, affection even, at least that’s what Wolf would call it now, now that he understood the feeling, now that he yearned for it himself. 

Had he ever loved before? He respected his father, he was grateful. Maybe he even loved him, but only to the extent that a child loved their parents. 

Did he love Lord Kuro? It was imprudent to even dare to think about his Lord as an equal. He served him, he fulfilled his duty. Just thinking of him as something akin to his own flesh and blood must have been an insult to the young Lord’s dignity. 

Then what was so different about this man…? Wolf would toss and turn at night, wondering what it had been that moved his heart so much. When they had first crossed blades, they hadn’t been on equal ground. Again, it felt as though Genichiro was looking past him, through him. He didn’t see the other man, all he saw was the goal he was working towards and an obstacle he needed to get out of the way. 

Was that the moment Wolf had wished for them to see each other as equals? It felt like fire cleansed his body off his doubts, he wanted to fight, he _needed_ to fight if it only meant they would see each other again. Their blades would cross again, no doubt, his blade would be marked with notches, just like his heart that yearns for something it could never get. 

For the first time in his life, the lonesome Wolf felt desires for something that went further than ensuring his survival, something deeper and more visceral than the purpose other people imposed on his life. He wanted to light a fire in those cold eyes, the eyes with the colour of the sky and the mountains. It was a travesty of love that only Wolf had to suffer through. 

Even if it was just for a brief moment, he wanted Genichiro to feel the same longing, the same pain he felt when his mind began to wander. What a disgrace he had become when Lord Kuro’s safety was all he should think about, but now that he finally his own freedom he could never see himself let go of it. 

He called it freedom when it felt more like shackles that began to wear him down heavier with every day that passed that he didn’t see him. _What if he already forgot about you? You know he would never look at you like he looked at them._ The little voice in his head was singing to him, jealousy was something they never told him to feel, he didn’t feel it either. 

She was his companion, his curse. She laughed at his face, she took the shape of all the things that Genichiro looked at with such fondness, she was the stories that others passed along to him about all the things the Lord had loved so dearly. 

Her name was that of a brave warrior that controlled thunder, her shape was that of a strong-willed rider, she was all the nameless and faceless ghosts that became someone when he looked at them. There was no room in Genichiro’s heart for Wolf, he knew that. Not as long as all of them existed, no matter if it was in a physical form or just in his memory. So he would wipe out every single one of them, he could burn the memories away, take their place, become the only thing that Genichiro could think about. 

Wolf had given up so much, he had thrown himself in the pool of his own emotions, didn’t Genichiro know that he could go so much further, just for _him_? His love alone was enough for both of them, that was what he was trying to make himself believe at least, but every time his blade pierced another trembling body, every time he watched the life fade from their eyes he knew that wasn’t true. Genichiro would mourn for the nameless, he would hate the demon that took them all away from him. 

And still… he felt his body move mechanically, the delicate mechanism of his heart was spinning and grinding, faster and faster as the anticipation of seeing him again slowly clouded his mind. Just like he had been an obstacle in Genichiro’s way, he eliminated all those who stood in his way, with no regard to the value of their life. In his eyes, they were nothing, just like he was to Genichiro. 

Blinded by his own desires, he had forgotten his duty. Faintly, Lord Kuro’s voice was carried to him, _“For he is my shinobi.”_ For a moment it felt as though he finally snapped out of the trance that his infatuation with the other man had put him in. The spell was broken, it felt as though the words triggered some hidden mechanic in his brain, they wiped the slate clean, he no longer yearned for the other man. 

“Face me,” he spat the words through gritted teeth, he would never again fall for the delusion and illusion of something as foolish as love. 

That was what he wanted to make himself believe for a moment, there was no way that these words could hold any truth or weight when their eyes met. Finally, _finally_ he saw the spark of the same fire burning in his eyes in that of Genichiro. The cold, blue-grey eyes were focused on him, sparks bursting into flames. 

Their swords clashed once more, the impact so strong it would have broken weaker metal, but it felt as though Wolf’s will was strong enough to make his weapon unbreakable. His head and heart were fighting with each other, duty and emotion mixing and slowly poisoning him. 

“So you were the demon haunting this land,” Genichiro growled, “I should have made sure to dispose of you when I had the chance…”

So that was how he felt for him? The words cut right through him, but not in the way he expected them to. It didn’t hurt. Love or hate. Nothing mattered at this moment. All he needed and wanted to know was that he took up all the space in Genichiro’s heart, no matter if it was wrapped in the warm cloak or affection or the all-consuming flames of hatred. As long as Wolf was all he could think about he was more than happy. 

“You will pay for what you did,” his large hand clasped around his throat, Wolf tried to gasp for air but just as he thought that Genichiro would drop his body on the ground, he felt his fist crash into his stomach. If there would have been any contents in his bowels, he might as well have thrown up all over the other man, instead, he exhaled all the air in his lungs, his head began to spin. 

His body crashed onto the hard wooden floor, Genichiro’s blade only missing his throat by an inch. “Don’t think I’ll let you get away that easily,” his voice was breaking under the weight of his emotion, “I know what you did and there is no way I will let you go, I could _never_ forgive myself knowing you are still alive when they are not.” 

Was it disgusting of him to feel his blood rush to his lap seeing the usually so reserved and collected man lose his temper? That was exactly what he wanted, but he longed for more. It was delusional, yes, but by God, he wanted nothing more than to feel his teeth sinking into his flesh. He wanted to feel his hate rummage through his body. He wanted to feel the pain filled thrusts, he wanted to feel him cry bitter tears while shame burned away the hate he felt. 

Genichiro could practise any form of retribution on his body, just as long as he felt the same mania that was driving Wolf to the edge of sanity. Love and hate were the strongest emotions any human could feel, right? After being apathetic for most of his life finally being in love felt like the first rush when drinking alcohol, but the more he drank the thirstier he got. 

The longer he stared back at Genichiro, the more he wanted to intensify the emotions they both felt. Without hesitation, the shinobi rose to his feet and took shelter. The dry, medicinal herbs he had to chew down on would relieve some of the pain he felt, there was no way he would make this easy for Genichiro. 

He had taken a part of his body, he had taken all of his heart, he had ruined him forever. Now it was Wolf’s turn to return the favour. They would become the same person, no matter how much force it would take. 

“Still standing, huh?”, did he feel it too now? The smirk on the general’s face made a shiver run down Wolf’s spine, _yes, yes, more of that_. 

“Very well…”, he drew his bow and arrows, the dark gleam in his eyes consuming all the light that once reflected in them. By God, he was beautiful, graceful even. His feet lifted him in the air without any issue, like vengeance, the arrows rained down on Wolf but deflected them. 

Just like Genichiro, he wouldn’t let the other get away easily. He was no longer the same person he had fought in the silver grass field. It was a lesson both of them had to learn that life never stood still and the monsters they create would always come back to haunt them one day. 

A yes… Genichiro was his creator. Now Wolf would repeat the process, not even nature herself could stop him. There was nothing stronger than the mania of love, not even the ancient, forbidden teachings of his beloved master. 

What was it he felt when their eyes finally met? Their faces only inches apart from one another. Their hot breaths mixed as Wolf watched the life fade from Genichiro’s eyes. Was this enough for him? Knowing that he died, his heart filled with hatred for the man who took all he loved from him, his face being the last he saw, was the closest that Wolf would ever come to satisfaction. 

_Know the difference between honour and victory_

A shiver ran down Wolf’s spine as he watched the lifeless body convulse as it came back to life. Eyes seething with hatred tinged red by the rejuvenating waters staring back at him. Wolf felt a warm liquid trickle down his leg as he watched the man spring back to life, his heavy breath and violent heartbeat only being other cues that his body could hardly contain the satisfaction he felt. 

_“We will meet again, Wolf… this isn’t over yet…”_ , with these words he vanished from his sight, at first the shinobi tried to run after him, grasp the figure but he knew that all monsters would seek out their creator. They would again, they would meet their end together.


End file.
